I’M NOT STUPID
Life of a loopy kid
By Taha Omar Abdiwali Farah Aden
INTRODUCTION
One day there was this dude. Everyone thought he was stupid, but I always debated that I am not. I am NOT! Okay, fine. You caught me. My name is Nat Turffield. One day I was strolling down the park, when I ran into, ugh, Ritalin. ‘Hi Ritalin,’ I moaned. You see, Ritalin is the reason people think I'm stupid, but we don't talk about that. We call it “INCIDENT 101”.
‘Hey, Burpffield.’ He says, grinning. That name is my curse.
‘What do you want?’
‘Well, Stupid king, I was thinking if you wanted a new PS5.’
He showed me a receipt from J-B Wi-fi.
‘Okay!!!’ I said. He led me to a box. I moved closer and closer until… A pie shot out of the box and splattered me in the face.
‘FOOL! Later, Stank Burpffield!’ He ran off, choking on his voice box, the little runt. I dunked my face in the wishing fountain (Almost got hit with a bat by the feds) and made my way to school.
‘Oh look, It’s Stank Burpffield.’
Said the popular girls. Looks like Ritalin (The only popular boy in a good way) told everyone to lose their voice by humiliating me.
‘Hey nat! Over here!’
Said another group. It was Bixby & Hex, my BFF’S. They were misfits for supporting me.
‘So, what’s up, Nat?’ Asks Bixby.
‘Not much,’ I tell her.
‘I hear there’s the juiciest food EVER in the cafeteria.’ Hex says.
I look at him. I am too lazy to drink water because it’s dull, but food & water COMBINED? Heck yeah!
EATING TIME
So there we were eating.
‘What is this???’ I ask.
I unwrap it. ‘MACCAS!?!?!?!’ Everyone in the room flipped out. Can you imagine a room as big as two classroom portables, screaming like the end of the world is confirmed? It’s loud. Very loud. Long story short, Ningleon (The grubby kid) bit into an over-juiced burger, which splat into Ritalin. He splashed Pepsi back at him, which said: “Test me.”
He did. The damage spread so much, the whole cafeteria, wreaked havoc. IT WAS A FOOD FIGHT! Seeing Ritalin, I knew I could get revenge without being the only freak in the room. As I approached, He slipped on some chips and slammed his face smack-bang in the wall. I picked him up and ran to the doctor. He was very injured, and needed a wheelchair for 2 years, and I felt bad. He woke up, But didnt roast me. He said something like: ‘Y-You saved my life.’
‘Yeah. I did…’ I say.
‘Look, I’m sorry for how I've treated you and nevertheless, you saved me before it was too late.’
‘Look. It’s okay.’
Everyone was crowded around the door and I opened the door with Ritalin next to me in a wheelchair.
‘He’s going to be okay.’ I say.
Everyone begins to cheer and chants:
“Nat Turffield! Nat Turffield!”
My REAL name! Everyone LOVES me! I’m so thankful!!
1 week later
Look, I put all this “stupid” crap behind me. I’m still a hero. (Ritalin is zero.) Hey, you wanna hear about the incident? I got over it. I made it a novel and censored my name. But I'll tell you.
1 YEAR AGO
So i’m just sitting, drinking my water. Ritalin comes along. He was a total idiot back then, but things were about to get out of hand.
“Hey, Nat. Want some burgers?” He says.
I was 7. So duh, I said: “Yes.”
He led me to the door to the school kitchen and put a blindfold on me.
“Ritalin? What’s going on??” I ask. He goes and turns on all the ovens and stoves to full blast and runs. The whole school comes along and sees me. I was framed. Everyone thought I was Stupid ever since, and the story was passed on a generation.
1 year later
You probably know that was dealt with. I’m a hero.
The end